Moms, Let’s Help Ourselves

We often forget that moms are individuals with a past and identity before having children. That moment when she finds out she’s pregnant, the focus immediately shifts from “me” to “we”, and that feeling only intensifies the older the child becomes. Therefore, in order to truly give something back to the moms in our lives, one must simply let her figure out how best she can renew herself. Everyone is different, the needs of one mom vary from one to another. One mom might need a night out with girlfriends, another a long hot bath and a good novel. The cure for what ails is bio-individual, but the need is undeniably there.

When I first became a mother, I was overwhelmed by the realization of that responsibility. Breastfeeding, tummy time, around the clock feedings and diaper changes all contributed to a culture shock I had mentally prepared for but not emotionally connected to yet. I felt extremely tired and the weight of responsibility was leveling. I had always been strong, but this new life as a mom required a higher, more intense level of resiliency I hadn’t acquired yet. I had to adapt, and I wasn’t sure how to do it. I was a fighting a losing battle against the tide, and I felt myself being pulled under.

It wasn’t until I had healed enough from giving birth and could workout, that I saw my first respite from the pull of the metaphorical undertow. The road became a lifeline to my former self to pull out of the constant drudgery of mundane daily tasks that motherhood requires. In the 30-60 minutes I was out on the pavement I felt lighter and lighter. Each step was a reclamation of my former self, and I breathed in the freedom I felt had escaped me. When I returned home, tired and exhilarated at the same time, I was at peace with my life again, and happy to dive into diaper changes, cuddling and even teething meltdowns.

Running and eventually yoga, weight lifting, and meditation, were the outlets I needed to be whole again–another mother may have a completely different set of requirements. I use myself as an example because it’s what I know for sure. What I also know without doubt is that as women, we are intrinsically selfless creatures. Sometimes we give so much of ourselves that the cup becomes empty, and that is where it becomes a matter of health.

Health is more than what is on our plates. It’s found in our relationships, our career, our connection with a higher power, and of course nutrition and exercise. It takes going inward to find out how we as mothers are doing in each of these categories, and then making the appropriate changes to make ourselves healthy and happy.

It may sound extreme at first for her to take 30-60 minutes for herself every single day, but if you think of the mother as the center of the home, it makes perfect sense to nurture her. The health and happiness of a home is almost always directly related to the sense of wellbeing of the mother. But no one can help a mother, she has to do the work and find what she needs to help herself. So mothers, do the internal work, and families support her. The result is a scenario where everyone wins, and the potential of every family member can be fully realized

How a Vegan Diet Can Help Save the Planet

On June 1, 2017, President Trump announced that he was withdrawing the United States from the Paris Accord. Fifty-five United Nation countries collectively signed the agreement in November 2016 in an effort to reduce global greenhouse gas emissions and combat climate change. When the news broke that Trump was out, I honestly wasn’t surprised. I felt that familiar sinking feeling when yet another act of progress championed by the Obama administration has been intentionally unraveled by the new president.

Trump explained that he did it because he valued American manufacturing jobs over everything else, to include the health and future of the planet. This message comes from someone who’s administration has not actually acknowledged climate change as a reality, and frequently used the term “hoax” to describe EPA data on its own government website. Not to mention that the biggest threat to traditional manufacturing jobs is automation, not climate change regulation. So what does this mean for those of us who do believe in climate change and understand what a huge disappointment this was in the battle for fighting global warming?

When president Trump withdrew US involvement in the accord, he made a statement to the rest of the world, that barring some sort of financial benefit, the US does not care to engage in collective movements for the good of others–i.e. non-Americans. As the unmatched leader in terms of wealth and military prowess, the US stands as an example of what other countries aspire to become. By opting out of an agreement promoting clear and defined goals of a cleaner earth, it shows a lack of concern and will no doubt encourage other nations to take on the same isolationist mindset. Those in leadership set the tone for everyone else, whether it’s a corporation, a field office, a soccer team, or a nation. It’s the same everywhere. Trump’s selfish and short-sighted withdrawal is a huge step backward for positive relations around the world, and for our planet.

For those of us at home who understand this and were disappointed–Elon Musk announced he was leaving Trump’s advisory council, there is still something we can do. By talking about climate change, and the effect that this withdrawal will have on the US and the world, we bring attention to it. When you bring light to anything, it has an impact. Additionally, Trump’s withdrawal was so shocking that it has sparked more debate and focus onto combating climate change at home. Individuals who may not have spent much time thinking about global warming, or from where the majority of it is generated, are now researching and talking with friends and co-workers about it and what can be done despite disastrous governmental actions. That’s progress.

What people discover when conducting research on climate change, is that the majority of the greenhouse gases are not from cars or factories, but from animal agriculture. The fastest route therefore to fighting back, is to stop buying meat and animal products. By one person going vegan for a year, hundreds of animal’s lives and over 400,000 gallons of water are saved. Additionally, the methane gas produced by cows and pigs–which is 23 times more damaging than CO2 and the biggest threat to the ozone layer, is seriously reduced. So now equipped with the data, what can we do?

Even if you’re not currently vegan, there are still small manageable steps you can take today that will create a real impact.

  1. Try eliminating meat from one meal a day. Since my transition to becoming vegan last year, my husband and kids have greatly reduced their meat and dairy intake, most notably from breakfast.  We were a household that would eat bacon and eggs regularly, now my family sticks to oatmeal, grits, peanut butter toast, and fruit in the morning–it was a simple change that my family could easily accept. And according to Environmental Defense, if every American skipped one meal of chicken per week, the CO2 emission reduction would be the same as taking half a million cars off the road. It just shows how simple changes in our everyday lives can and do make a huge impact. We are not helpless observers to the wrongs of those in power.
  2. Incorporate an entire day without consuming meat, more commonly known as “Meatless Mondays”. If everyone in the US engaged in Meatless Monday for one day, it would equal a reduction of 1.2 million tons of CO2, 3 million tons of soil erosion, 4.5 million tons of animal excrement, and 7 tons of ammonia emissions. This was great way to encourage my husband to try new dishes and reinvent his old trusted recipes in new and interesting ways. Additionally, our grocery bill was greatly reduced. I was amazed at how far our money went after we eliminated beef, chicken, pork, and eggs from the cart. It took actually going to the store and seeing it in real life to fully appreciate how much further our dollar was going while simultaneously eating significantly healthier.
  3. Lastly, as humans it’s a well-known fact that we’re wired to connect. Seek out a community that supports your desire to learn more about plant-based diets and connect with them online. Facebook has a myriad of groups like “Vegans United” and “My Vegucation” that offer support and information from real people who have felt a similar call to make a change in support of the environment despite heavy cultural and traditional opposition. On Instagram, search hashtags like #meatlessmondays, #veganbreakfast, or #veganrecipes, for more inspiration and motivation. The vegan community is growing everyday, and it is one of the most welcoming, passionate, and intelligent groups I’ve ever encountered.

Currently the US is responsible for over 15% of the world’s greenhouse gas emissions. If our president refuses to participate in a global effort to ensure that our children and grandchildren have a sustainable planet, and enough food and water to exist when they grow up, we as citizens have to take responsibility for the future onto ourselves. The truth is that we cannot change his mind or his administration’s agenda, but we can make small changes in our own lives, like the ones detailed above, that taken together as a country, can and will change the fate of the world and the future health of the planet.

 

 

A Letter to My Husband on Father’s Day

Dear Husband,

We met eight years ago in the most unlikely of places–Las Vegas. I observed this tall, dark, and handsome man talking to my friend, and something happened internally to me. Your face seemed familiar, your Southern accent drew me in, and the way you looked at me slowed down the constant chatter in my mind. You shook my soul in mere minutes, and I hadn’t even spoken a word to you yet. After I found the courage to approach you, we talked and didn’t stop talking until…

Read the rest where it’s been published on Red Tricycle.

 

Red Tricycle Articles

Guys I am so excited to share that Red Tricycle (basically my bible for all things motherhood), has published TWO of my articles on the realities of momlife. You can check them out here:

The Mommy Wars

Want to Try for a Water Birth? Here’s My Story and How I Did It.

Thanks for reading, and please share if they speak to you!

How I Reset My Brain by Floating

The rapid pace of life we live today is not normal. My latest piece, published by mindfulness magazine elephant journal, describes a way to rest the brain and start anew from a place of clarity and calm. Find it here.

 

To Be Happy Means to Be Creative

Albert Einstein once said, “Creativity is intelligence having fun.” Since starting a blog I have been asked countless times why I was doing it, and the question honestly caught me off-guard. For me, writing is a facet of expression, a way I can share who I am with those who know me, or think they do. Most people have an idea of who they think someone is, I’m equally as guilty–but unless you spend substantial time with a person, you never really know who they are, what they have experienced, or what they might be going through. When we leave the house we are ever ready with a smiling face and shiny exterior, even though it is not always the case.

Through writing, I am able to share an honest picture of who I am, and perhaps inspire someone else in the process to take down the mask and revel in the freedom that an authentic existence can bring. What could be more fulfilling? I have always loved and admired artists- they are fearless, and they unabashedly share their souls with the world through their chosen art form. Though writing, I wanted to embody that freedom and truth too.

And it’s not just me who senses the benefits of living a more creative life. A recent psych study showed that daily engagement in creative activities (i.e. journaling, painting, doodling, cooking, etc) positively activated emotional states and lowered stress and anxiety. Participants in the study reported an immediate increase of feelings of well-being, and “an upward spiral” of positive emotions.

I can attest to the truth of this study. Since starting the blog a short while ago, I have experienced an overwhelming response from friends and strangers on how they have been inspired by what I’ve written, and that confirmation means everything. Each time someone reached out, that ephemeral connection we are all constantly searching for was there, and I was grateful in that moment with that person.

Here’s how to get started:

  1. Choose an art form that interests you. It could be anything from cooking, to drawing, or even creating boards on Pinterest with images that spark your imagination. The point is that you are engaging in an activity where your mind is activated in creative way.
  2. Try to do at least 10 minutes of your chosen art form a day. Start small, and then go from there. If you can incorporate at least 10 minutes every single day, you will start to receive the brain benefits, and it’s a goal that is small enough that you minimize the probability of failure.
  3. Ritualize your art by making this activity a regular part of your day. Pick a time of day that works best for your schedule, thereby increasing the chance that you’ll actually do it. I know that I have a half hour when I get home to cook, it’s scheduled.
  4. Track your progress. How did you mentally feel week 1? Week 2? How have you improved, and what have you learned? Write down wins so you can remember them. A great journal might work for you.
  5. Continue your practice each day. Make it a habit until it becomes second nature, the reward is a better brain and genuine happiness.